broken.
Addiction is, in my eyes, one of the saddest afflictions man can be faced with.
I hate losing sleep over it, I hate the gut-wrenching stress, I hate the guilt I constantly feel for wanting to completely pull away. At what point do I decide to stop being taken advantage of, and when do I bail? I can’t see any other way out. You can only give people so many second, third, fourth and fifth chances. In the process of trying to save others, I have broken myself. I guess it has been a struggle to accept the fact that someone who loves you can still manipulate and use you. They might not even know they are doing it. It has just become habit. They convince themselves that the world is against them. There is no other way of living for them…they have conditioned themselves. Why should they think any different, either? If people continually feed their need and continue to pick up the pieces–how will they ever change?
I cannot keep giving out second chances. I must look after me. How am I supposed to take care of others if I cannot care for myself first? Why was I cursed with such a heavy heart?
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I hope you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve absolutely been in your shoes. Keep your chin up and know that this, too, shall pass. Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself to be strong for others… and sometimes that strength is in letting go.
Thanks, Desiree. I appreciate your kind words.
If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s this…
I love to take care of other people. But if I don’t take care of myself, I’ll be in no shape to take care of other people. So it’s okay to be selfish sometimes.
i struggle with this ALOT. too much, actually.
i know that i need to take care of myself first ..but i really have trouble doing it. buuut i agree with melinda, its okay to be a little selfish. you gotta look out for yourself!
i hope your stress & stuff over this, subsides a little. i know how you feel, i’m forever trying to find the OFF button, for my brain.
i’ve been reading your site for awhile now, and thought it was finally time to comment!
i agree, and came to the same conclusion.
i agree, and came to the same conclusion.
Im tired of being manipulated too.
I almost let it happen again…but came to my senses.
In other news, those are beautiful pics of you riding and of your new puppy.
Love you, Miss you.
Try calling me sometime, we have a lot to catch up on,
but life is good.
xox