Brainshambles|

So I had a rocky visit with the psych yesterday. We decided to pull me off both meds I was taking (Lamictal, Restoril) as obviously things just weren’t RIGHT. After a decent amount of coersion, I reluctantly agreed to enter a research study specifically for Bipolar people with generalized anxiety.

PROS:
-free medication
-free visits (which normally are like 200 bucks a pop)
-chance of mental improvement

CONS:
-I have to drive 45 minutes to the office EVERY week for 8 weeks to be assessed
-The study drug is SEROQUEL, one I have taken before with no real great results
-I may receive the placebo, which would mean my bipolar brain would be medication-less for months

Honestly, I really didn’t have much of a choice. I have exhausted most of the conventional treatment plans and I might as well get free visits and contribute to research…right? Anyway. The doctor did re-prescribe me Ambien CR last night. This stuff is insane and if you don’t lay down right after taking it–you will basically hallucinate. While it doesn’t put me into my desired “dead” sleep, it seems to work the best out all the sleep medications. And yes. It’s official…I have tried every single one of them in the fricking book. But yes, thanks to my lovely hallucinogenic sleep aid–I was granted a little relief last night in the form of several hours of sleep.

Sleep is more precious than diamonds or gold, to me. I would pay cash for sleep.

I get my mini dachshund pup tomorrow night at 6:00. Who’s excited?