Brainshambles|

1. People that lie
2. People that cheat on their significant others (over and over again)
3. People that manipulate others for personal gain
4. Dog poop on my carpet
5. Being poor
6. Being bored AND poor
7. Vacuuming
8. Cleaning the cat litter
9. The price of Victoria’s Secret “PINK” collection
10. Insomnia

Um, ok. Back on the wagon I go. Cookie dough+ice cream EVERY SINGLE night equals me gaining 2.5 pounds.

I learned my lesson, Weight Watchers. I learned my lesson. I will be your faithful companion once more!

When I am lazy *aka tonight* I just pour dry cat food all over the kitchen floor. Hard to believe…considering I am such a freak about having a clean floor. Kyle thinks its funny.

Also—yesterday I drove 40 minutes to the stupid psychiatrists office to finally get my research study medication/placebo. I got all the bloodwork, did all the long tedious assessments, only for them to tell me at the end of it that I am no longer qualified. The reason being that I am headed towards a “manic high” rather than a “manic low”. My doctor had to take me off of my Lamictal in order to be eligible for the study, which I believe switched my moods. Which is fine…I much prefer to be in a “high”, with lots of weird energy and racing thoughts and all that BIPOLAR fabulousness. But still. I was really quite irritated that I had spent so much gas/parking money and time to prepare for a study that I no longer qualified for. Rawr.

Yesterday Kyle’s aunt joined us for our riding lesson (she rides where we do, but usually at a different time) and she chimed in on the engagement issue. Funny how I always instantly feel better about desiring a ring when one of Kyle’s family members brings it up first. She goes…”yeah Kyle, where IS that ring!”. It was cute. I love her. She is going to be in my wedding party…when I get married…which will be NEVER.

I am going to go eat my vegetarian burrito and drink my Reisling now.

I was going to blog about engagement…but I just got irritated with myself and deleted the whole thing. Seems like no matter what/how I write, I end up sounding like a blabbering pile of bitch.

I need someone to come and drag my ass out of this apartment and take me for a run. Not that I’d be able to get more than 500 feet. But it would be a valiant attempt, for sure.

I never know what to do with myself when I am not in school/working. So I did what I do BEST today—and incurred more credit card debt via a trip to the mall. It’s funny how I tend to spend the most money when I have the least. At least I stuck to the sale racks. Even during my worst manic shopping sprees (which today, I swear was not one of them) I almost never buy regularly priced items. Kyle would kill me. Oh, Discover Student Loans—please hurry up and process my request. I need some green gold FAST!

Kyle has gone to his uncle’s cabin for the evening, leaving me alone with our zoo. Rupert and I just had a productive 30 minute play session, in which we introduced the concept of “sit” and “drop it”. I am also trying to teach him how to “not bite my fucking hands off”, but that command seems to be a bit trickier. We’ll get it though. Even when he’s trying to eat me, I still want to squish his little head off. I have an Amy’s Organic Southwestern Burrito in the toaster oven and it still has 45 minutes left. I am freaking starving. Don’t know what has gotten into me–but my appetite has become absolutely ravenous. Our evening have been ending with ice cream sundaes almost nightly. Oh well. Ice cream makes me happy. Rupert is developing a bad ice cream habit as well.