I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, Sir, because I’m not myself you see.

Mar 18

Awake, press buttons, coffee on. Eyes meticulously lined, exaggerated so far as to distract from countless other flaws. Wardrobe strewn about as groggy eyes try to place pieces of cloth over a cold body. Forty-five minutes later, hair is placed, coffee is poured and cereal is eaten. The same amount, at the same time, with the same spoon, every day.

One day, I am going to be something great. Working hard makes my blood rush. Stress is something I loathe and seek all at once. Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. Release. Sometimes, I wish I could show others all the colors I see and all the feelings I feel. A sort of intentional bloodletting of passionate garbage. Holding back is hard, a delicate balance. Cause for almost constant awkwardness.

And at the end of my whirlwind of a day, coffee is pepared for the next morning. No matter how tired, I will always sugar coat the state of my household with a false sense of order. Even if I know it’s fake. It looks sort of real…real enough to allow me to lather, rinse and repeat the next day. And I will keep dreaming of Paris, so long as I shall live.


  1. Keep dreaming… and you never know what tomorrow will bring…

  2. I always love coming and seeing the pictures you post.

    I know the feeling of the meticulous days. It’s like that Kings of Leon song that used to make me cry all the time in Germany, “Given the chance, I’m gonna be somebody.” And I would think I WILL, I WILL BE SOMEBODY.

    It’s hard at this stage, but we gotta keep our heads down and keep working.

  3. Katelyn /

    <3 Emmysuh

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  6. Robert,While Manticore and its allies could possibly create such a drone, the Solarian couldn’t and I don’t think that Haven could either. Remember that Manticore had to invent a superdense, super small, fusion plant to just make the first recon drones with FTL communication. So for either of them to build something that small would not be possible at ‘this’ time.One possible defense would be to mount jammers on the ships and broadcast the “static” from there.Another defense is to get in close, while it doesn’t stop the control that Apollo has, it does mean that you get to fight back.

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