Brainshambles

I think I shall stay here. And become something else. I relish that concept. If my world refuses to come along for the ride, I shall simply drive around them in circles. Dizzying circles of change and empowerment. All that will remain are shells used to assault a former life. I am creating my foundation, [...]

I pulled crinkled pages out of the printer this evening, looked at my hands, and just as quick as I had scrubbed them clean–they were covered in black ink. I rubbed my fingers voraciously only to realize that I was smudging ink deeper into skin. And it hit me, like a train to the brain. [...]

A bounding pulse races through wires only to be temporarily halted at various points throughout the day. It is subject to sudden stops and starts, perhaps making it vulnerable but also always prepared to move. Surprising amounts of time have passed since I’ve had the urge to cut my blonde locks or embellish this skin [...]

I am modeling in a runway show presented by Francesco’s Salon for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital next weekend. Today I stopped by the salon with two-day old hair, no makeup and sweatpants to do a trial. Not too shabby for a completely bare face on two hours of sleep…I can’t wait to see how [...]

Shut me off. Go ahead. Do it. But I will creep back into your brains, and knock on your skull until you’re forced to come to the dreary realization that I AM MORE THAN YOU WANT ME TO BE. And I will not just stand here. Correction. I’ll stand here for a while. But when [...]

It’s a Monday night, and I’m spending it with the White Stripes. Speaking of stripes, blue striped pajama pants cover cold legs curled upwards against bony ribs. Baskets of fresh laundry litter my closet–if one could call it a closet. Funny, I actually don’t have a closet. I have a clothing room. Does that make [...]

I was just asked to be a model for a hair show in May. My era, too! 1940s-1950s, blonde bombshell. My schedule is insane as it is for the next two weeks. But really, how could Miss Shambles say no to such an offer? So while killing it at work and closing my new home, [...]

I am running on a British-pop music high this month. I’ve been burning cds for over an hour now, and I think my computer has had enough. But next week is sure to test me, and I need some fresh material running through my brain. I am also in dire need of a pedicure, a [...]

I carry with me a few particularly vivid memories of my early childhood. For example, and I have no idea why, but I can remember this lamp that sat next to my bed when I was maybe 3 or 4 years old. It was a bunch of plastic ballons, and I loved it. Across from [...]