One week. Many lists to go. Why am I awake so early on a Saturday.

Jul 31

Oh yes, I remember why I awoke at 6:00am on a Saturday morning. Because my brain is a hot chemical mess, and I have cats that like to perform circus acts across my master bedroom.

So here we are, it’s official. One week from today, I will be Mrs. DeVan. The dress is done, and hanging in my wardrobe room. Mother is cleaning my house Thursday afternoon before my out of town guests arrive (saint). I have quite the full agenda this weekend. Including, but not limited to, a head of freshly cut, coloured hair. What I really want though…more than anything this weekend, is a massage. Yeah, right!

I’d also like a sugar skull bed set please.

Lady Gaga and her mind-defying shoes.

Marilyn Monroe looking adorable in Niagra, 1953

I always love photos of Brigitte Bardot in her ballet attire.

I need these socks, ASAP.

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Slaughter, Laughter, Slaughter, Laughter

Jul 27

8:15PM, I am finally home after an incredibly long day. My hair is wet, and my mouth is dry but I can’t drink water because I’m currently bleaching the *expletive* out of my teeth. Oh, the glorious life of a working bride-to-be. I thought I might lose it on my way from work to the hair salon for my trial. After about 10 minutes of sitting in that familiar leather chair, with my favorite bubbly stylist, magic started trickling out of my eyeballs again. I I breathed a little sigh of relief…I can’t lose my magic. I must not lose my little tiny magic.

I have photos of my dress (which is almost completely finished, and utterly runway-worthy), photos of my shower, my bridal shoes, and even some shots from tonight’s hair trial. I wish I could show them all to you. But as non-traditional as I think I am, I just don’t want to ruin any surprises. This event, I have learned, really is one of the few sacred and precious moments I have left to hide and protect. At least right now.

So I suppose all I really wanted to record here, at 8:25PM on a Tuesday night, is this. Amen for fabulous hairstylists, amen for the healing power of laughter (and good salon lighting). And amen for pushing onward.

Tomorrow will test me harder than today. I must endure. I must continue to dust my path with bits of magic wherever I step. Can’t let this light go out.

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I am a cliche. And so are you.

Jul 21

I wish I had the energy to write you lovely people something more eloquent, deep and meaningful tonight. But the truth is, the last two weeks of my life have been an absolute whirlwind. Crazy ups, and crazy downs. I am trying to do several large things all at once, the biggest being preparing for my wedding which is only 17 days away.

This has proven to be quite difficult, considering the nature of my work, the needs of my household, my struggles with sleep, and some personal family challenges. But I am enduring. Pushing onward, trying to remind myself of the greatness that will envelop me on August 7th. I often let my work prevent me from fully enjoying or participating in significant personal milestones. This is not new, I’ve always had the habit. It has reached a peak this month though, this much I know for sure. I’ve had to force myself (sometimes with the help of others) to stop, breathe, and let everything around me fall in to place. I am one woman. I have to set my personal standards a tiny bit lower or else I’ll never enjoy life. I’m trying.

My fiance has been a wonderful person, supporting me now probably more than ever before. I am so thankful for him, as well as my family and friends who have taken such an active role in planning and executing my wedding. I suppose, looking back on that statement…I can consider this emotion alone a personal feat. I dislike accepting (or having to ask for) help from others. So for me to let my guard down…let people in, and allow them to help piece together really important parts of my life is quite a change.

There are a great many things I wish I could write on here, but cannot. Lady Gaga was amazing last week, absolutely refreshing and a much needed mental retreat from current events. My dogs are still bad and cute. My floors are in dire need of a good sweep, but my dishes are clean. I have my second bridal shower this Sunday (Tattoo and Scrapbook themed!), as well as another dress fitting.

The graduate school situation has turned all sorts of sideways, and I’m pretty sure my identity has been stolen (again)…who knows. It’s quite frightening when not even the government-education offices can figure out where a “glitch” is. But so it goes…

Keep calm, carry on.

(Quite sure this is the look I’ll be going for on wedding day. Should go nicely with the french net bird-cage veil).

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Keep Calm and Carry On

Jul 14

But surely, Lady Gaga will revive me tonight.


I am thankful for so many things and people.

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How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable Seem to me all the uses of this world

Jul 08

Keep it together, girl.

Every star deserves to twinkle.

To live in France, wear sunglasses and rouged lips. All I ever wanted.

A perfect storm.

Maybe seeing Lady Gaga next Wednesday will revive me.

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