Brainshambles

I wish I had the energy to write you lovely people something more eloquent, deep and meaningful tonight. But the truth is, the last two weeks of my life have been an absolute whirlwind. Crazy ups, and crazy downs. I am trying to do several large things all at once, the biggest being preparing for my wedding which is only 17 days away.

This has proven to be quite difficult, considering the nature of my work, the needs of my household, my struggles with sleep, and some personal family challenges. But I am enduring. Pushing onward, trying to remind myself of the greatness that will envelop me on August 7th. I often let my work prevent me from fully enjoying or participating in significant personal milestones. This is not new, I’ve always had the habit. It has reached a peak this month though, this much I know for sure. I’ve had to force myself (sometimes with the help of others) to stop, breathe, and let everything around me fall in to place. I am one woman. I have to set my personal standards a tiny bit lower or else I’ll never enjoy life. I’m trying.

My fiance has been a wonderful person, supporting me now probably more than ever before. I am so thankful for him, as well as my family and friends who have taken such an active role in planning and executing my wedding. I suppose, looking back on that statement…I can consider this emotion alone a personal feat. I dislike accepting (or having to ask for) help from others. So for me to let my guard down…let people in, and allow them to help piece together really important parts of my life is quite a change.

There are a great many things I wish I could write on here, but cannot. Lady Gaga was amazing last week, absolutely refreshing and a much needed mental retreat from current events. My dogs are still bad and cute. My floors are in dire need of a good sweep, but my dishes are clean. I have my second bridal shower this Sunday (Tattoo and Scrapbook themed!), as well as another dress fitting.

The graduate school situation has turned all sorts of sideways, and I’m pretty sure my identity has been stolen (again)…who knows. It’s quite frightening when not even the government-education offices can figure out where a “glitch” is. But so it goes…

Keep calm, carry on.

(Quite sure this is the look I’ll be going for on wedding day. Should go nicely with the french net bird-cage veil).