It is July 1st. In 37 days I will be a married woman.

On July 17th, I will turn 24.
On August 7th, I will be married.

It’s sort of mind blowing to think back to when I was younger…I always had this magic number, 24. Always wanted to be married and have a child by 24. Now 24 seems so young and so old all at the same time. While I still long to be married (and OH MY GOD we are one month away people), not quite ready for le bebe…

Age and time are strange concepts for me. I’ve created a world for myself in which time rules absolutely everything. Heaven forbid the morning when I haven’t finished applying my mascara by 6:25a.m., for if I am 5 minutes late with breakfast…my whole day is already thrown off balance.

I always say that I want more. I want to be more, and I want to learn more. I guess if I really had my way (and no one ever totally gets their way), I’d stay in a classroom wearing sweatpants scribbling notes all day for the rest of my life…and come home to a warm place where my husband and dogs and cats just adore me. I wish I could stop and smell the roses. I really am becoming more skilled at this task (one which is so hard for a racing mind). I have forced myself to shut off at a certain time most evenings. I don’t sit at home on the weekends and loaf in my mind blowing exhaustion so much anymore. Rather, I force my tired and groggy self to take trips to the zoo or go on walks in the park with Kyle and the dogs. Eat ice cream. Race down to the pier at night to watch thunderstorms roll in…get bagels and coffee Sunday morning.

It is these small little events that I think may be my saving grace. If I can keep up with them and balance a heavy workload and an ever-racing brain, perhaps I might actually find some balance.

I hate surprises, I love routine. Some would tell me I need to be spontaneous. Well I can be…but in my own, calculated (still routine) way. I want to be a great wife, a smart and beautiful girl with a solid career.

I still want to blow minds. Always will. Selfish failed Hollywood starlet speaking, perhaps. But none the less, I want to change things and be remembered.

I want this tea cup.

I want this tea cup.

Posted by Katelyn in Uncategorized. 2 comments

Comments

{1} Laura Leone:

Love this Katelyn. People who are too obsessed with time and schedules let their lives pass them by too quickly. Even though I’m not as time-obsessed as you can be ;) , some of the time i need to take this advice also. I’m glad you are taking the time to “smell the roses” and get out and enjoy life, instead of obsessively stressing out too much :) keep it up


Jul 1, 2010
9:12 am

{2} emmysuh:

I find too that not succumbing to the overwhelming desire to collapse and just Exist on weekends or evenings helps me deal with the mundane work life so much better. If I fill my free time with all the fun/adventure/love/etc. it can hold, it balances out the parts of life I find tedious or monotonous.


Jul 2, 2010
12:40 pm

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