Brainshambles

Don’t get me wrong, despite being TERRIFIED and continuously in a state of shock, I am excited about the changes that will come with bringing two (did I mention that? TWO?) babies in to the world. But for the record, I wanted to make a brief and probably ongoing list of things I really miss that I’ve had to give up for pregnancy:

-Red wine
-Turkey Sandwiches (really, this “no-lunch-meat” rule is so irrational, but it’s left me paranoid)
-Being too thin for nearly all the dress pants in my wardrobe
-Wearing a size 0 or less
-Drinking coffee while checking blogs before work
-Drinking coffee all day at work
-Eating fish whenever I want and not freaking out about how many ounces I’ve had in a week
-Being able to work for 12 hours without a break and hardly noticing
-Keeping totally in control of my house cleaning
-Doing the cat litter (yes, I miss this, only because I could do it as often and whenever I felt neurotically necessary)
-Being able to wear my wedding rings
-Sushi
-Laying on my stomach to sleep
-Horseback riding
-Having the energy to straighten my hair and/or do great eye makeup

Of course, there are surely a few things I can list that I am starting to appreciate about pregnancy as well:

-Buying cute new shirts
-Wearing more comfortable shoes to work and not feeling totally guilty/lazy
-Eating like a normal person and not a bird
-Trying new foods/eating old comfort foods
-My dog Rupert being super crazy affectionate and protective
-Kyle doing doing more cleaning/laundry
-Dreaming about all the fun things I’m going to shop for
-Feeling fairly confident in myself despite cutting my “prep” time in half because I’m so ill/tired

But the best thing so far, and truly a positive change which I know will only grow stronger is really enlightening. Despite doubling over with morning (or “all-day”) sickness, it feels so refreshing to realize that almost subconsciously, I’ve stopped obsessing about myself and my image because I’m suddenly so focused on preparing myself and my household for the babies. I am so far from perfect and will be self conscious like any woman. But right now, it seems so non-important whether or not I wear eyeliner or high heels to work, or if I say the right things. I just want to be healthy, and I hold my breath before I get to see the little peapods again on an ultrasound. I hope I’m doing the best I can.

Ice cream and white bread and reese’s cups aren’t the best. But I figure, so long as I precede them with some whole grains and a few servings of fruit per day…the comfort is worth it.