July 22, 2011 – They say it gets better…

Everyone keeps telling me that things will get better as the girls get older. The strangest thing is…everything seems to just be escalating? The twins were easier to care for when they were 4 pound, fresh-out-of-the-NICU preemies. These girls are almost 12 weeks old (but really, 4 weeks adjusted age). It’s all really confusing. I’ve known them for 3 whole months, they are the size of/act like 1 month olds, and yet I feel like we still don’t know one another. I am thankful for the gift of having two healthy babies. But sometimes – I feel like the twin factor prevents me from spending enough time learning about each one individually. I should know what I’m doing by now…and I still have no clue. Last night was one of our worst. The best way to sum it up is this: I am avidly against cosleeping. Last night, (or this morning, as it was 4:00 a.m.) I ended up sleeping in the guest bedroom with Audrey nestled beside me. That’s how bad it was.

IT WAS SO BAD THAT MY NEUROTIC SELF RISKED SMOTHERING A BABY JUST TO GET HER TO SLEEP.

And it worked.

And now I feel like I’m teetering on a slippery slope of poor sleep habits. It won’t happen again.

/end crazy mama rant

In other news…oh wait, there isn’t any. I’m working my tail off part time (ha, ha), juggling twins usually alone, tired as hell, and have rapidly increased my coffee habit to 5 whole cups per day.

But my husband is a saint, and after all that bitching (excuse my french, sorry, no eloquence this week), he deserves a big shout out. Thank you, Kyle, for knowing exactly when I need a break. Thank you for working hard. Thanks for suffering with me.

It has to be worth it…it just has to.

Posted by Katelyn in Uncategorized. 2 comments

Comments

{1} bluejeanamy:

I think by “better” people mean eventually more and more sleep…which better enables us to handle all the craziness. And I think we learn to love them a little more all the time, which does the same. But, for example, raising Harper at 17 months is NOT easier than when she was a newborn. She’s a lot crazier and demands a lot more of me. But I’m a lot better rested and I’ve slowly learned each little thing is a phase and passes quickly.

You’re still really really early days. And no one really knows what they’re doing? As long as they’re getting fed and they’re warm and alive and getting snuggles, the rest is details. These really weird early days WILL be behind you sooner than later and you’ll feel more and more like yourself… (And seriously major props for handling the twin thing so gracefully. I know it’s a lot lot harder than one and I think you’re right that there’s less time to just breathe and figure it out…more DOING. High five, you guys are doing great and your hair always looks fab! ha)


Jul 23, 2011
10:53 am

{2} Momfish:

I was just watching videos of Everly earlier today when she was a newborn up to about 6 or 7 months old… whoa. I barely even REMEMBERED her acting that way! Wow, wow, wow. In my opinion it gets easier in the sense that once they start eating solids, drinking from sippy cups, and interacting more – you do a little less work and you enjoy them more. When they’re so dependent and just… kind of lay around chilling and fussing… you don’t really have a bond w/ them the way you do when they start giving you kisses or biting you because they’re mad.

I bet with having the twins it takes a little longer for that normalcy feeling to come back (and it never really seems to come back all the way). Really there isn’t a whole lot about them to “get to know” (does that sound bad, eek) because they’re mostly little blobs that are like… angry at the world and trying to figure it out. As they develop more personality characteristics (which I really think starts happening around 6 months +) you’ll bond w/ them in a different way, etc.

You’re doing a lot. Give yourself credit. And do what you gotta do to survive.


Jul 24, 2011
9:55 pm

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