White Noise

Jun 07

While I’m sitting here drowning in Sharper Image’s “White Noise”, courtesy of one of their later sound machine models…I thought I’d take the time to start listing. I don’t know what I want to call this list yet, but certain things unique to mother’s of multiples (but certainly applicable to all new moms) keep popping in and out of my brain[shambles].

I don’t know…for now…shall we call it…”Things You Should Know Before Raising Twin Infants”?

1. Keep the blinds down, and resist the urge to open your front door to let sunshine in. Neighbors WILL come knocking, or even just open your door and walk right in to oogle your sensitive and sleepy babies.

2. Always, ALWAYS wear atleast minimally decent clothing during daytime (special note: BRA). Because undoubtedly, neighbors, friends or family WILL “pop in”.

3. Learn to do everything quickly. Not just quickly. RAPID lightning speed. You have two babies that need feeding. Two babies crying. And a precious window before all hell breaks loose, with no return in sight.

4. Get over the idea that you will give nice calming baths, and carefully scrub every crevice (special note: EARS) of your precious newborn baby. You have 30 minutes to bathe two wiggling and hungry babies. PRIORITIZE BODY PARTS.

5. Prepare the coffee at night no matter how tired you are. You will be thanking the heavens in the morning, when theres piles of bottles to clean, and you can just press “on”.

6. Shower. No matter what. Even if those babies are fussy. Stick them in a safe enclosure, and go take a freaking breather. The shower is your haven, even if for 5 minutes.

7. Stock your cabinets and fridge with ready to eat items (special note: small portioned, high protein, easy to grab items), because you WILL FORGET TO EAT. Protein bars. Fruit. Cereal. Sunflower seeds. Rice cakes. Yogurt.

8. Strategically place water bottles on all levels of your home. And drink drink drink. Any spare minute, take a drink.

9. Love your husband, appreciate all he does for you, but don’t expect him to care about doing things quickly or neatly like you do during the day. Just breathe. You can clean it all up the next morning.

10. Don’t jump the gun and buy 50 cans of special preemie formula the week you get babies home. It will most likely make them sick, and you’ll have to switch, and you WON’T have your receipts…hence, leaving you stuck with some very expensive paper weights.

To be continued…

A very unhappy, tummy troubled Paige.

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Coffee please. Yes, I’ve had two cups. MORE coffee.

May 24

I dress my little girls like little boys. This is not by choice (although I do fancy little boy outfits). Preemie clothes are hard to find, and apparently Wal-Mart is a misogynist company.

Audrey and Paige

Last night, the alarm was supposed to be set for 2:30am. It never went off…and I woke to the sounds of fussy babies at 4:30am. EPIC fail for preemie parents…missing their feeding time by TWO hours…yeah. But they are living still, so it goes on. Today Kyle and I have to figure out how to get them to their first pediatrician appointment. We have the car, we have the car seats, and even the babies. What we don’t have just yet is the sanity. I just hope to god that they’ve gained and not lost since the NICU. My little heart is exploding with nervousness.

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