Brainshambles|

Realizing just how much material I missed by switching to classes that had been in session for three weeks. I guess we will find out by the end of next week just how well I can handle playing this game of catch-up. Private school taught me how to cram last minute and as Tim Gunn would say, “make it work”. Hopefully my usual craftiness will prevail.

I also updated my “about me” section this morning, considering I am no longer a ridiculously unhappy nursing student. I still lack a life…but it seems to be getting better. I start work again tomorrow at the Vet which should be interesting to say the least. I accomplished little-to-nothing this weekend. Instead I spent too much money on electronics, ate ice cream about 6 times, and spent time with my fabulous neighbor friend. Time to hit the books, put the scrubs back on (but not gross white nursing scrubs…yay!!) and get this show on the road.

I have also been strongly considering cancelling my weight watchers account. It would save me 16 dollars a month and I feel like I spend too much time thinking about points and food and what not. I don’t know though…a little risky. I don’t want to fall into old habits, and my Weight Watchers Online keeps me accountable.

Blogs are so retarded. Do you SEE what I just spent 10 minutes writing about? NOTHING. A whole lot of NOTHING.

Five months ago, I began the journey called “Weight Watchers”. Yes, I was only 138 pounds when I started…but 138 pounds on a 5′3″ frame just wasn’t working out anymore. I let myself get too comfortable and threw all healthy choices out the window. After years of failed diets, I made the decision one day to join the online program, and I have never looked back.

This morning I met my last and final weight loss goal, and have gone from a thick 138 to a svelte 112. I have never felt better about myself and am completely baffled that I was able to actually STICK to something like this for five months. Now the real journey begins, maintenance mode. They gave me four more “points” per day now that I have reached my goal, and it feels so strange to plan meals with 22 points a day rather than 18. I am thrilled.

Enough of that. I tried to sleep in this morning, but my propensity for early mornings never fails. I have a final exam (definitely the toughest of the bunch) this afternoon at three which I have completely given up studying for. I cannot look at another damn power point slide. Time to go make coffee and watch the news.

(Coffee, Money, Corgi, Vacation, Macbook Pro, Sleep, Horse, A House, Engagement)

Doing homework days before it’s due? Is this possible? After an entire life lived on last minute pressure?
It feels good. Yet, now I just find myself fixating on more shit that will be due in the future. In a week. In two weeks. Shit. Nursing. Kill. AHHHHH.

I had a mild frozen custard binge last night, which made me feel really guilty. But proudly, I woke up this morning and dragged my ass to the gym to do 33 minutes on the elliptical. Chump change for the average athletic, I know. But 33 minutes is a pretty big feat for me, on the elliptical machine. Hopefully, if I don’t succumb to my inner fat girl, I can manage to at least maintain at my Wednesday weigh-in.

I am tired. But feeling fairly mentally stable, which is strange. I’ll take it. Maybe the Lamictal really is kicking in. That would be baller.

So I am finally getting all this jazz up and running. Still need to figure out how to get my flickr crap in the right spot. Until then, here’s whats up. So I just wrapped up my second week of clinicals, and I thought I may never get through. I kept thinking to myself, “if I can just make it through Thursday, if I can just make it through Thursday.” Somehow, I managed to even ace my medication math final, finish up my first 9 hour care plan, and pass my medication skill check.

This nursing shit is wearing me thin. And it’s only the tip of the iceberg. Two more years of this. It’s too bad I wasn’t diagnosed bipolar earlier…I never would have gotten myself into this hot mess. Seriously, how does someone transfer from ART school to NURSING school. Seriously?

I can’t even do long division, or comprehend the metric system. What the hell was I ever thinking. I can see it now.

“Hello Mr. Smith, my name is Katelyn and I will be your nurse today. Let me now incorrectly calculate your heparin dose, and put you into a state of complete internal hemorrhage. Have a nice day! Oh, by the way, I am a status hypochondriac, so please don’t fucking cough on me.”

But regardless, I must now make do of this situation. There is no more time for mind changing, and the loans are piling up high. I’d kill to be an English major. Or heck, even back to a graphic design major (which sucked hardcore, but nothing in compare to this).

Hopefully I can get over the bed bathing/colostomies/vomit and fear of virulent contagious diseases, and find my niche. Which I am assuming will be in a psychiatric ward. At least I will have no doubt that I can connect with those people.

Off to drink some wine, and make my delicious, non fat, 3 weight watchers points, thin-and-tasteless-as-paper cheese pizza. YUM.