Brainshambles

In 2011 I had twin baby girls. I gained 50 pounds and lost 55. I learned about all sorts of new elements of my personality that I didn’t know existed.

My life was tested. Until the very last second. I attended a funeral on New Year’s Eve. I chose to speak up when I might have previously remained silent. I loved like I’ve never loved before.

2012, I’m not sure if I’m really honestly ready for you. But I welcome you. Let’s get this going. Let’s be stronger, better.

See…maybe all that vanity will pay off.

Take pictures of yourself talking in to a banana phone (while trying to entertain babies in your living room and working). Post them on your blog.

This exercise will help you successfully put off email and report updates, as well as wake/funeral preparation for at least 10 more minutes.

My grandmother passed away early yesterday morning. I keep thinking about this thing she used to do to me when I was little and spending the night over her house. I’ve always had trouble sleeping, but I don’t think she knew that at the time.
Each night I slept over (which was often), she’d turn the lights down and “give me the light”. She spent several minutes “gathering” energy and light, and made me believe she was sprinkling it all over my body. This is the single most vivid memory I have of her. I guess it made some sort of impact. I remember thinking and feeling the power of her energy, even visualizing little dots and flashes of light floating over and upon my body as she put her hands over me. Even if it was all magical pretend, her presence and her energy was all very real. It always calmed me. I could see it. I wish in my older years I had given her more time and consideration. I imagine many people feel that way when reflecting on the death of a loved one. She has quite a following, and I expect a pretty fantastical funeral (if there is such a thing).
This whole experience has got me thinking…how would my obituary read? What would people have to say about me? What good have I done? Will anyone remember something strange, peculiar and beautiful about me? I just want to make an impact. Like Steve Jobs, I want to put a ding in the universe, even if just a tiny dent.

My mind is like a heavy hand
Always making more of what really happened
A critical imagination always working over time
Maybe this is what the world will see
A tiny little version of the tallest tree
An optical illusion of the human mind
Posing as a real life

I never had my mind made up before the bomb dropped.

There is absolutely nothing in the world more heart melting than a baby giggle. I am lucky because every day I get to experience two unique giggles (Audrey squeals, Paige belly laughs). Tonight, we captured Paige on video.

Thought I’d post a few shots from last night and this morning. Merry Christmas! It’s been a different sort of year, many challenges, many feelings, many ups and many downs. But we tried hard to muster up some Holiday cheer. Click to enlarge.