Brainshambles

In another life, I’d be photographed by Mario Testino or Annie Leibovitz. Fantastical fabric draped across a delicate canvas, people would pay to paint their stories on me. And I’d let all my colors reach through the lens, share my light with the world.

Wouldn’t that be a fun fact to share with my daughters in old age? Flipping through old, glossy editorials…”look, there’s your mom. See how fantastic she was?”

Of course, I know I won’t have to prove how fantastic I was. They’ll already know. I want to teach them so many things. I want to teach them how to validate themselves, so they spend more time refining their confidence and less time seeking proof from others. I want to teach them the power of eloquence, compassion, and proper grammar. I love those little ladies. They are such angels.

Love, Katelyn and Paige

(Audrey says hello from across the room, bouncing her little butt off in her Baby Einstein bouncer).

I really just want a double shot, whole milk pumpkin spice latte.
A deep tissue massage.
A bit of shopping.
Some lovely salmon paired with wine.
Baby cuddle time.
Peace and calm.

But, it’s 5:00 a.m. on a Thursday, I’ve been up since 2:40, and I suppose it’s time to get on with it!

Marilyn Monroe, 1960

Oscar Wilde said “women are made to be loved, not understood.” That reads quite lovely on first glance but in all honesty, most days I want both. I often wonder how women of my breed get over this insatiable quest?

Guilt is an interesting emotion. Sometimes it creeps up on you when you least expect it, other times it can be conjured on demand. I should write more. I should eat, sleep and breathe more. I should definitely make more time to nurture the little corners of my psyche that fuel passionate outbursts. Time, there it is again. Tick, tick, ticking away. I guess while on the listing kick, I should give myself more credit for accomplishing so many things in a day, or even a 25 year lifetime.
My sweet baby girls who thrived so well as preemies in the NICU virtually medicine free, were diagnosed with their first ear and respiratory infections today. They are now 7 months old, so I consider myself truly lucky for their amazing stretch of health. They are strong little ladies, such a pity to see them with runny noses and crackly coughs. I knew it was bound to happen.
What else shall we share in this space tonight? I could rave about my amazing dinner. One whole grain “lean pocket” (variety: chicken, artichoke and wild rice), one honey greek yogurt, and two glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon. I am definitely the epitome of class. No really, I am, actually.
Little Miss Brainshambles is running on empty, but she carries on…always has and always will. Bigger things wait ahead of me and I hang on to hopes, like most other human beings. Hopes and dreams darling, hopes and dreams. And if I’m lucky, I’ll be able to keep on giving along the way.

This one is a fun little keeper.

A few shots from today. Worth clicking to see larger pinch-able baby cheeks. If you like that sort of thing.

Time flies, it really does. It flies when you wish for it to stand still and it ekes by when you are groveling at it’s feet, begging that it steps hard on the gas pedal. This weekend I’ve learned or at least advanced at one of life’s most important lessons. Appreciate. Cherish. Cherish people, cherish time spent and time given, cherish smiles and tears.

Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me. -Sarah Bernhardt

I swear to the heavens…if one more photo of 1990′s Drew Barrymore crosses my RSS feed, I’m going to scream.

Marilyn, Dita, Milla, you ladies can all stay. Kirsten Dunst…I don’t even mind you trending these days.